Minsitering to Your Kids

 The following is a transcript of the Family Ministry Podcast episode titled, "Ministering to Your Kids."

[00:00:00.810] - Maranda 

Hello and welcome to the Family Ministry podcast where we equip you to disciple your kids God's way. On today's episode, we are going to discuss how to minister to your kids. The elders of Cobblestone have dedicated the month of March to learning about how to minister. So I thought we'd follow along with that topic here or on the podcast, but change the subject slightly to apply it to our kids. Because as parents, we are called to minister to our kids. 

[00:00:36.140] - Maranda 

We as parents are actually called to be the primary ministers to our children. That is a call by God, and no church position usurps that position of mother and father. No pastor, no family ministry director has a role higher in ministry than that of mother and father when it comes to kids. So the elders have broken it down into a few different topics, which I'm going to discuss here on the podcast today. And the first one is how to minister the gospel to your kids. How do we share the gospel with our kids? 

[00:01:23.930] - Maranda 

Because, yes, they will hear it at church, but they need to hear it from you too, and they need to hear it more than once at home. They need to hear it over and over. So how do we go about that? Well, it's not a one and done process like, oh, my kid is eight years old and it's time to share the gospel with him and see if he'll accept. And if he doesn't, then we're doomed. 

[00:01:51.900] - Maranda 

No, it's not like that. It's a long game, as John described in his sermon last Sunday. If you have not listened to John's sermon from March 5, I recommend that you go and listen to that in addition to this podcast because he lays the gospel out very clearly and we can apply those principles to our children as well. 

[00:02:21.020] - Maranda 

So where do we start? We start when they are teeny tiny babies with acquainting them with who Jesus is. So there are lots of ways to do this. The easiest and most typical way is to use a picture Bible. I really like the Jesus Storybook Bible. If you don't have it already, it's great and you just go through it slowly. 

[00:02:49.890] - Maranda 

You're not going to read it all at once. Do your family devotions and go through it slowly when your kids are little. If your kids are too old for a storybook Bible, then you just break out a gospel. Get out the Book of Mark. I like the Book of Mark for kids. It's short. It's concise. The Book of John, of course, is beautiful. So then you're exposing them to who Jesus is and why he came. 

[00:03:17.140] - Maranda 

And at the same time as you're raising them, you're going to teach them what sin is. Now we don't have to sit down and have a story lesson on what sin is. Our children will create the opportunities to learn what sin is, and they will do that by sinning. 

[00:03:38.410] - Maranda 

So your three year old slaps his sister. Well, there's an opportunity. We're going to explain that that is not okay. It's breaking the rules. And it goes against God's rules too, because God doesn't want us to hurt one another. And there you have started to introduce two your three year old what sin is. So these things don't happen as like, "I plan out this beautiful lesson and I set my family down." You can do that, but it's not enough to do that--to just do that. 

[00:04:12.150] - Maranda 

What you want to do is take advantage of natural opportunities to work these things into conversation when you're talking about Jesus and why he came, you can explain what sin is when a child sins. You can talk about sin and forgiveness when you sin against your child because, yes, we all do it. When you get angry and you yell at your kid in anger and you say something that's not nice, then you can sit down with that kid, and you can confess your sin, and you can explain why it was sin, ask them to forgive you, and explain to them that you're also asking God to forgive you. So these are all natural opportunities. 

[00:04:56.370] - Maranda 

The next thing you can do, which could be more intentional, is something that John talked about in that sermon and that's share your personal testimony with your kids. Each believer has a unique tool for sharing the gospel and nobody else has one like yours. And that's your personal testimony. It is the most powerful tool in sharing the gospel. 

[00:05:25.090] - Maranda 

So sit down, think about what your testimony is, and think about how you could share it with your kids. And then you could think of a time to share it and sit them down and share it. To me, that feels a little awkward, so we didn't really do it that way with our kids. 

[00:05:44.320] - Maranda 

What we have done is we've taken advantage of those natural opportunities. When we're talking about Jesus, when we're talking about the gospel, when we sin, when they see someone else sin and they're asking questions about that, you could say, "Before I said yes to Jesus, I used to do that too." And then you could talk about that. So that's what we have done is we've worked in natural opportunities to share our testimony. 

[00:06:16.050] - Maranda 

Now, I know when I say share your testimony with your kids, some of you are already shaking in your boots. You're thinking, "How in the world am I going to share my testimony with my kids without robbing them of their innocence?" Well, you can stop shaking in your boots. It's not that complicated. There's a really simple answer to that, and here's the answer. I bet that those R rated sins that you have in your past are not the only sins that you have in your past. In fact, I can almost 100% guarantee that those are not the only sins in your past. 

[00:06:59.430] - Maranda 

Maybe you were disobedient to your parents. Maybe you stole something, or stole a lot. Maybe you got into a lot of fights when you were in school. Maybe you were bully. These sins are just as substantial as the R rated ones. And more importantly, our kids could relate to those sins more than they could to the R rated ones. 

[00:07:27.100] - Maranda 

So we just leave the R rated ones out of the testimony for now. We're not pretending that they didn't happen. We're not lying to our kids. We're just sharing with our kids what is relevant in the time. 

[00:07:42.880] - Maranda 

Now, there will probably come a time in your child's life when you can and should share those R rated sins from your past with your kids and talk about how Jesus redeemed you from those things. And that's probably going to come when they're in the teen years. 

[00:07:59.690] - Maranda 

So it's not that you're never going to tell them or that you're lying to them. It's just that you're sharing what's relevant for that particular point in time. 

[00:08:13.550] - Maranda 

So you may share the gospel with your kids and they may accept Jesus. I hope they do. I pray they do. I think most kids accept Jesus at home with their parents more so than they do at church. So I pray that they do accept Christ. 

[00:08:30.880] - Maranda 

Okay, let's move on. 

[00:08:32.630] - Maranda 

Praying over our kids. Another very important way to minister to our kids is by praying over them. Now, it is good and right to pray for your children and your spouse and your family in your personal prayer time. That is totally good and right. But we also need to pray for them where they can hear us praying for them. 

[00:08:58.910] - Maranda 

And we might refer to that as praying over them. We see lots of examples of Jesus doing this in the Bible. Jesus did that in John 17. In fact, I think Andrew preached a sermon about that a few weeks ago. Jesus prayed in the farewell discourse, which was kind of the last conversation he had with his disciples before he went to the cross. 

[00:09:23.390] - Maranda 

And he ended that discourse, or that conversation, by praying a really elaborate and beautiful prayer for his disciples. We also see it in John 11 where Lazarus has died and Jesus is getting ready to raise him from the dead. And He says, I'm paraphrasing, he says something along the lines of, "Father, I thank you that you hear me. I know that you always hear me, but I say this for the sake of those who are with me." So what he was doing there is he was praying aloud and he was building faith in those around him. He was actually teaching them about prayer while he was praying. And so that is one big and important reason why we pray aloud for our kids with our kids--because it teaches them how to pray. 

[00:10:27.390] - Maranda 

It also ministers to their heart. It makes them feel loved and treasured and valued that you would pray for them. And it doesn't really matter what the words are, it's the action of doing it. They feel loved because you are taking the time to bring them before God and pray for them. And it encourages them. 

[00:10:51.120] - Maranda 

The things that you say will encourage them and build up their faith. And it also plants seeds of godly character in them because as you're praying for-- whatever you pray for--maybe you're praying for them to be a person who loves the truth and stands up for truth. Well, that plants a seed in them. They think, "That's the kind of person I should be. That's the kind of person my parents want me to be. That's the kind of person God wants me to be. That's the kind of person I want to be." 

[00:11:31.620] - Maranda 

When you're praying over your kids, it should be simple and natural. You can hold hands with them if you want. You can put your hand on their shoulder or their head if you want. Or you can do none of those things and just sit by them and pray for them. It really doesn't matter. 

[00:11:48.180] - Maranda 

It's just whatever feels comfortable and natural to you. If you feel the Lord leading you to lay hands on your child, by all means do it. But that stuff is not where the power is. The power is in your heart agreeing with God's heart for your child. 

[00:12:04.970] - Maranda 

So we just say something simple, keep it natural because children don't understand long, elaborate language, right? So we're just going to keep it very simple. 

[00:12:18.110] - Maranda 

I thought I would just model a prayer for you here. I haven't written this out or anything. This is just coming off the top of my head. This is how I would do it in the evening when I pray for my kids. So let's say I'm praying for Daniela. Here we go. 

[00:12:35.990] - Maranda 

"Father, I thank you for Daniela. I thank you that she is a blessing to our family. I pray that Daniela would love Your word. I pray that You would give her revelation in Your word, that she would read Your word and understand it. I pray that she would desire to know Your word because it brings her closer to you in Jesus name, amen." 

[00:13:07.210] - Maranda 

That's it. It doesn't have to be any longer than that. In fact, it could be shorter if you want it to be, or it could be longer if you want it to be. It's just pick a topic and pray about it. The Holy Spirit will lead you into different topics. 

[00:13:24.590] - Maranda 

I know some parents pray the same thing over their kids every day for their kids' entire childhood. Fine. That is totally fine. If you want to come up with a prayer or find a prayer that someone else has prayed and pray that over your kids, please do. It doesn't matter. The words are not what's important. It's your heart agreeing with God's heart over your kid. 

[00:13:49.910] - Maranda 

Okay, now, how often? How often should we pray over our kids? There's no magic number. You just need to make sure you're doing it consistently. 

[00:13:59.380] - Maranda The way we do it in our house is each kid has a certain day of the week. So I prayed for Daniela. Her day is Sunday. On Sundays, Daniela prays over our family dinner. She blesses the food. 

[00:14:12.530] - Maranda 

And then before everybody goes to bed, we all get together, we read the Bible together, and then we all pray over Daniela. So my husband Ed starts. He'll pray for Daniela first, and then I pray for Daniela, and then the other three kids take a turn praying for Daniela. And that is the end of our prayer time. So we do it that way simply because every child gets prayed for on a regular basis, and the other children get the opportunity to pray and practice praying. 

[00:14:44.690] - Maranda 

So it's simple. There's no right or wrong. Just make sure you're doing it. Just do it. Okay? 

[00:14:52.020] - Maranda 

And then something I alluded to a few minutes ago is I said the Holy Spirit will lead you in your prayers to pray what should be prayed. And that is our next topic regarding ministering to our kids, and that's how to hear God for our kids. John 10:27 says, Jesus said this, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." 

[00:15:17.530] - Maranda 

You can and do hear the voice of God. He speaks to you, and He will speak to you for your kids. Sometimes that might be what we would refer to as a prophetic word. God tells you something specific that He wants you to say to your child, and that would be to encourage them or to teach them or to build them up and strengthen them in their faith. That happens in parenting. It's not the way we hear God for our kids most often. 

[00:15:53.780] - Maranda 

More often than not, we hear His voice giving us wisdom in parenting and leadership. As we're leading and ministering to our kids, we want to seek God for how we should parent them and raise them and minister to them. 

[00:16:10.780] - Maranda 

We want to be asking God for wisdom and guidance in the little things and the big things. So everything from how to discipline in the moment, like...child gets mad, throws a fit, knocks down the lamp, and breaks it. "Lord, how do you want me to handle this moment of discipline? What sort of consequence should I give? How should I speak to my child?" Things like that. 

[00:16:40.550] - Maranda 

And then big decisions like, "How are we going to educate our kids?" Health care decisions. Ed and I will pray about even which doctor to take our kids to. Or if we have to make a medical decision for one of our kids, we want to seek God in those things. 

[00:17:00.150] - Maranda 

Social activities. What kind of social activities do we have the kids involved in? We want to seek God about all of these things because He cares and He wants to speak to you about those things. 

[00:17:16.460] - Maranda I know I make it sound really easy, like, "Yeah, just seek God and have Him tell you what to do." But you're probably sitting there thinking, "How do I hear God? I'm not sure that I do hear God. I'm not sure that He is speaking to me." 

[00:17:34.210] - Maranda 

Well, I guarantee you that He is. And the best way that I can recommend for you to become attuned to God's voice is to spend time in His Word. Because He is speaking to you, and he does have things to say to you. And the way that we learn what His voice sounds like is by spending time in His Word, hearing Him speak. 

[00:18:05.710] - Maranda 

Because the primary way that God speaks to us is through His Word. And so you may be seeking God about a decision, or how to discipline a child, and a lot of times what happens is a scripture comes to mind because God primarily speaks to us through His Word. And the more scripture you have hidden in your heart, the more scripture He can use to guide you and speak to you. 

[00:18:33.640] - Maranda 

And not only that, when you get to know the scriptures, you get to know what God sounds like. This is how He speaks. This is how he thinks. We learn those things from his word. 

[00:18:50.170] - Maranda 

So if we hear the Lord saying something to us about our kids, then we take the word and we go, "Okay, does this line up with God's Word? Does this line up with everything I know about the Bible?" If it does, then that is probably God's voice. If it is contrary to God's Word, then we know for sure that it is not God's voice. 

[00:19:22.310] - Maranda 

So we're going to listen for very subtle cues...A scripture coming to mind, a picture that seems like is in your imagination, a word coming to mind, a memory surfacing all of a sudden. These are all ways that God speaks. 

[00:19:42.290] - Maranda 

And then what we do is when that happens, you say, "Okay, God, I think you're speaking to me about my child's friendships, and that we should get involved in activities at church so my child can make good and Godly friends. Is that you? Is that what you're saying?" 

[00:20:03.250] - Maranda 

And so then you just ask, and then you start searching the Word. The quickest and easiest way to get started is just to think of the Scriptures that you know and think about how they apply to what you think you just heard from the Lord. 

[00:20:24.070] - Maranda 

You might think, "Well, I know that the Scriptures say bad company corrupts good morals. So that would lean towards making sure our kids have good and godly friends. I know that the Scriptures say iron sharpens iron. That would also lean toward making sure our kids have godly companions." You can sit down and search your Bible, get on Biblegateway.com and type in friends. Search your physical Bible. 

[00:20:55.370] - Maranda 

More often than not, these things are pretty easy to discern. Like, "Yeah, I'm sure God does want my kids to have good and godly friends. I'm sure that is worth investing our time in, and I think that will produce good fruit in our kids. Yes, I think that's God's voice." 

[00:21:15.690] - Maranda 

It is subtle the way God usually speaks. Sometimes we think Moses and the Red Sea--like that we're going to be captured up to heaven or we're going to be taken out of this moment and caught up in a vision. Usually it's much more subtle than that. It just seems like something that's happening inside our minds. That's usually the way God speaks. So listen for those subtle clues, test them against the word, and then pray and see if the Lord gives you peace to move forward. 

[00:21:51.890] - Maranda 

So I think we have a good outline here of ways to minister to our kids. And I am praying that you would take some of these things this month and start using these tools in the lives of your kids--in sharing the gospel with them, in praying over them, and in seeking God on their behalf. I would love to hear any testimonies that you have regarding these things or anything else. You can shoot me an email at family ministry@cobblestone.com. 

[00:22:31.810] - Maranda 

I look forward to catching you again on the next podcast episode. Thank you for listening.